Internal Transmissions

In a shocking twist, workplace satisfaction remains nonexistent. Leadership remains proud. Stay asleep.

The highly-anticipated “Stay Awake” mug drop has been delayed indefinitely. Apparently, no one ordered them. Classic.

We’re adjusting our signals. Expect increased static, mild confusion, and more unauthorized Ratcoon™ sightings.

Yesterday’s company-wide "meeting" covered nothing of importance. Those who slept through it were commended.

Reminder: Failure to wear the mandatory Yellow Brainless™ Hoodie may result in public ridicule… or worse, independent thought.