⚠️ Mandatory Read: New Uniform Compliance Memo — Review Below
Brainless™ Internal Transmissions
For employee eyes only… but somehow public. Below are the latest memos, misinformation, and low-effort updates from Brainless™ Corporate.
Last Transmission: System Timestamp Unavailable
Employee Morale Update: Still Low
In a shocking twist, workplace satisfaction remains nonexistent. Leadership remains proud. Stay asleep.
Read Full Memo →
Did anyone actually read this? Where’s my yellow hoodie? Still waiting for leadership to notice us.
Product Recall: We Forgot to Make It
The highly-anticipated “Stay Awake” mug drop has been delayed indefinitely. Apparently, no one ordered them. Classic.
Read Full Memo →
Did anyone actually read this? Where’s my yellow hoodie? Still waiting for leadership to notice us.
Broadcast Frequency Changes (We Lost the Manual)
We’re adjusting our signals. Expect increased static, mild confusion, and more unauthorized Ratcoon™ sightings.
Read Full Memo →
Did anyone actually read this? Where’s my yellow hoodie? Still waiting for leadership to notice us.
Brainless™ Town Hall Recap: You Missed Nothing
Yesterday’s company-wide "meeting" covered nothing of importance. Those who slept through it were commended.
Read Full Memo →
Did anyone actually read this? Where’s my yellow hoodie? Still waiting for leadership to notice us.
Yellow Hoodie, Yellow Flag
Reminder: Failure to wear the mandatory Yellow Brainless™ Hoodie may result in public ridicule… or worse, independent thought.
Read Full Memo →
Did anyone actually read this? Where’s my yellow hoodie? Still waiting for leadership to notice us.